What is my purpose?

          What is my purpose?  I can honestly say that I am not prepared for the future.  There are many things that need considered: college, profession, and my abilities.  They all tie in together, yet they come in different time periods of my life.  My plans are are a little bit more clear.  I plan on going to college (probably UNK) for information systems.  Basically, information systems deals with securing and maintaining a computer network.  Many companies look for specialists in this area of study.  You can also deal with the hardware aspect, such as improving the CPU (central processing unit), hard drives, RAM, and other various hardware parts.  I enjoy working with computers and my goal with my "purpose" is to work with them in my profession.  A lot of people would rather do something else besides learning how their computer works. They think as long as they know how to work it, their problems are solved.  Well, have fun when the software fails and you have to go pay someone to do a basic fix-up!

          That all sounds fun and dandy, but its my backup plan.  My real plan after college is to enroll in the police academy.  The age limit to enroll is 21, so I might as well go to college in case I can't get into law enforcement.  This is something that surprises everyone I tell, probably including you, the reader.  I don't really have an emotional reason for this desire, like some who experienced a horrible trauma and holds a desire to grow up and protect others from dangers.  It sounds like a very justice-sounding occupation.  Its not only just a job that I get paid for, but I also get to help protect the public from danger.  That sounds pretty cool to me! 

          When I graduate from both college and the academy, I'll probably just follow wherever a job takes me.  Hopefully, I can find a nice job in a small to medium sized town, nothing too big.  It would be even better if I could get a job in a nearby town, such as Grand Island or Kearney.  Okay, Kearney isn't so nearby as I thought.  But, its better than going into a town like Lincoln or Omaha where I have completely no idea where anything is! Since I've grown up in a small town, I feel that it contains a better atmosphere, by both the people and the geography.  I went to the Nebraska-Idaho game and the traffic was crazy.  We walked approximately two and a half miles to get to the stadium.  I don't know what I would do if I went to college and lived their for four years, not to mention work there.  I already am directionally challenged, finding it hard to go back the way I came.  For me, driving around Grand Island is a challenging task.  That is also helping me choose where I want to go to college at.  I want a smaller town, and Kearney sounds like a good fit. 

        As most do, I also want to be eligible for scholarships.  I know that I'm not involved in a lot of extra-curricular activities.  In fact, if you count National Honors Society, I'm in one!  I pride myself though on having a part-time job.  It teaches you responsibilities that you can't learn in the classroom.  Those lessons will help me in college.  More students claim themselves as procrastinators.  I would acknowledge myself as one myself; but I'm progressing.  My boss will have me be in charge of something at work.  For example, if he puts me in charge of sorting, that almost includes everything.  We have to sort the frozen food off first, and put that into the freezer.  Next, we have to sort all the aisles into their appropriate pallet.  This takes a while, as we have three or four eight-foot pallets stacked with the goods all jumbled up.  Next, we have to pull them out into the aisles and stock the shelves.  I not only have to do all of this, but I also have to make sure that the other, younger workers are staying on task and doing the same. 

            For me, I need to take each step one at a time.  Hopefully, they lead me to where I want to go.  I can't depend on others to make decisions for me.  I have to take initiative in my own choices and actions and put myself on the right path, although a lot of people change their minds after they go into college.  I don't want to waste time trying to decide what my major will be after I enter, or if I want to change my plans after graduating.  I need to figure this stuff out now.  I need to take the college visits, job-shadow, whatever I can to guarantee that I'm on the right path.  I know it sounds crazy, but its my goal to figuring out my purpose.

                     

Where Am I?

Where Am I?

          Where am I?  Hmm, well I could be a smart alec and say I am in the publication center.  But I will not.  I am in my teenage years and I have a lot of tough choices in life.  Decisions I make now will make a huge dent into my path.  I am from a small town in the middle of cornfields and a few paths to the outside world of cities...and a few towns.  I feel like growing up in a small town, you gain some special skills others who live in metropolitan areas do not.  For example, as you drive down M St. you will pass others.  But as you pass them, when you look through the other car's windshield, you will usually see them give you a polite wave of the hand, or a finger raised off the steering wheel.  This is the politeness of Aurora.  People always say that Aurora is one of the best towns in Nebraska, and I believe it!  If you walk down a street in NYC, it is highly unlikely that someone will go out of their way to say hello.  It is that kind of genuine kindness that only small towns are experience.

          Right now, I am in that difficult stage of deciding which college am I to attend.  One minute, I'm decided into what profession I am going in to, the next I have second thoughts and I'm confused.  In my case, I have backup, but I'm not sure if that should be my first choice.  After the College and Career Day on Monday, I was set on being a police man.  But now, I realize I really want to have technology and computers as my life.  Going into information systems sounds like the best bet for that.  Now, it is time for the choice of College.

          Right off the bat, I am deciding that a University is what I want.  I want a place that will not only look like a prestigious institution, but to also get an education that will help me be good at it.  But in my field of interest, experience is equally important as education.  As of now, Wayne State, UNL, and UNK are in my scopes of fire.  UNL is okay, but I think that is inching off my radar, just because their only computer major is computer science, and that is not what I am looking for!  I saw that UNK has an information systems major, so there is a high chance for me there.  But, Wayne has a computer science with networking concentrate major which I also looked into deeply: decisions, decisions.  I just hope when I get there, I don't have to do a lot of math! 
       
          Currently, in my opinion, I have a stable part time job at the Aurora Mall.  I hate working there, but it keeps my car running, my phone working, and supplies me with plenty of food.  I am one of the last people there that have worked there for longer than 2 months.  In my workplace, I'm like a senior!  I get to teach all the new people how to work the box crusher, stock shelves, and backstock.  You would think a manager or boss would do that, huh?  With my job, I have learned to work with good ethic and to be more responsible and out-going.  I was terribly shy before I started.  I would say I am still shy and reserved, but if I have to try and keep a conversation going, I will try!  My boss gives me certain respect others at work don't receive.  He likes to talk in a lot of detail to others, even if they have worked there longer than I have, and then he checks up on them to make sure they did it right.  With me, he gives me an idea of what needs to be done, and I do it.  I don't have him there telling me what to do or how to do it.  I choose what I do in order to get what needs to be done.  Some of the other employees act like they need the extra help, if you know what I mean.
      
      I feel like no matter where we go, hopefully that one part of us which makes up your personality will never change.  Because in that, it has memories of how we were brought up.  That is one of the biggest things that contribute to where we are.  Where are you in your life?  Are you that person who treats everyone like they are nothing, or do you treat them with respect?  This is not only "who we are", but also "where we are" in morals.
          

Who am I?

     Who Am I?

Who am I? What makes me, me?  One does not simply know these questions, or answer them with the simplest of answers.  You cannot make an assessment about yourself in this way because you have a set feeling of who you think you are.  Sometimes, you need other people to tell you how they think of you.  You need to be put in situations that will test your strength and ability.  I know what I think: I'm quiet, I like to play video games, work on computers, and make money.  But I know there is more to me than that.  People tell me that I am considerate to others and respectful to the people around me.  Thy say I am responsible with tasks given to me with trust.

     I am very faithful.  That is to say, I am religious and I have a set of morals that are important to me.  I'm not going to go into detail with my religion, this is not the place.  Everyone has morals, some just don't have a very good set of them.  I can't explain how or why they become corrupt and what they do in this world.  I can only tell why I do something.  One of the things people notice the fastest is how you carry yourself and the way you treat yourself.  If you don't treat yourself with respect, how can you expect others to do the same?  The same goes for anything.  If you don't put forth the effort, you'll gain nothing back.  

     My family is a big part of my life.  If you don't have family, who do you really have that's got your back?  

In my family, I have a mom and two brothers that'll stand by my side.  The same goes for them; we all have each other's backs.  Sure you have a bunch of friends, but how many of them would actually stand by your side?  That is why instead of having a bunch of "friends", I keep a small list of "good friends".  

     My hobbies.  In my free time i enjoy playing Xbox with friends.  I'm not what you call a "competitive player".    I play for the fun of the game and to enjoy myself.  I recently started a YouTube account that has my game play on it to try and get featured.  There are some channels on YouTube that actually get you paid more for the number of views.  I think the normal YouTuber, if chose to monetize their video, gets about $.99 per one thousand views.  If, perhaps say machinima was to sponsor me, I would make about $2-$3 per one thousand views.  Machinima is the biggest video game channel on YouTube.  I am definitely not trying to make a living off YouTube, which would be pretty cool in my opinion.  I also like to make animated videos on my computer.  I have downloaded all the latest programs of adobe and I enjoy using adobe After Effects and Photoshop.

     After high school, I plan on going to either Lincoln or Kearney.  I plan on majoring into computer science and hopefully get into network administration.  I've been working on my goal by taking all computer classes and studying independently.  My newest goal is to get my hands on a desktop computer and be able to study all the parts inside and how they work.  Why not go into one of the most needed majors in the country?  The need for computer techs have gone through the roof!  And by going into computer science, it opens many more doors of professions that can apply, such as software development, hardware technician, computer networking administration, network security administrator, and many more.

     My part time job has had an impact on me.  When I started way back in the summer after freshman year, I was VERY shy.  I could hardly talk to someone without getting red faced.  But that summer, I changed.  I learned to talk to people and hold conversations...kind of.  I feel like since I've worked there, I become more social every day.  I have also learned about responsibility and the importance of deadlines.  I've been ordering for the store for about three months for now and I have responsibilities.  I'm in charge of keeping the younger workers busy, finding stuff for them to do, being a role model, and also keeping the burger feeds going.

     I am me.  I have a set of foundations that make my base.  Where ever we go in life, the paths that we have taken make up what we know in the present and help shape our future decisions.  I hope that I've made the right choices to help myself.